Saturday, 30 May 2015

DO NOT FEAR




Sudha has been observing her little daughter, Deepa since a couple of days. The 12 year old Deepa is not like her normal self. She appears to be withdrawn, morose and off mood.

The mother in Sudha felt very uneasy. She had no idea about the reason behind her sulkiness. Deepa is a bright and sincere student all along. But now she hardly opens her books and even if she sits with her books open, it is clear that she is not at all concentrating on them. Her annual examinations are going on and naturally Sudha is worried.

Deepa is deep in thought. She is feeling very bad with the happenings of the past few days. Jairam, her classmate is a notorious bully and the bad boy of the class. In fact he is at least 3-4 years older than the others in the class. With frequent detentions and poor performances he is now still in class seven.

Her eyes are filled with tears. How dare he force her to do all those bad things? He intimidates all with his wicked ways and threats. She is no exception and she also is a helpless victim. How long will this last? She wondered sadly. She craves for a soothing soul to confide her plight and get some solace. But she is too scared to confess in anybody with the fear that he may become vengeful and harass her. He warned her very clearly with dire consequences if she opened her mouth.

Sudha could not control herself further. She neared Deepa and wiped her tears. "What is the matter, Deepa, why are you upset?"

Deepa startled but did not say anything. Sudha hugged her and stroked her hair fondly. "Do not hesitate, Deepa, tell me, what is troubling you?"

Deepa broke down sobbing. But she is not ready to confide, even in her mother. She is too scared of Jairam to open up.

Sudha tried her best to elicit information from her but could not succeed. Deepa continued to cry but did not say anything. Sudha sighed. 'What can I do with this girl? There is no doubt, something happened. But what could it be? How can I make her talk?'

She looked at her sadly. She still wanted to try. As a last attempt, she said, "Deepa, my child, look here. I am your mother. If you cry like that how can I bear? Anyway, I am sure, you are facing some problem. If you don't tell me, how can I know? If you tell me, I will try to help you. Tell me, please, what is the matter? Is somebody troubling you? I will not tell to anybody, I promise. I will keep it a secret and try to solve your problem. Say something, Deepa. Don't just go on crying. You are making me sad and worried. Do you like to hurt me, your mother?"

Deepa hugged her and hid her face in her bosom. "No, mummy, I don't want you to be sad." She swallowed hard. Then she looked up and wiping her tears, said, "Mummy, will you really not tell anybody?" Sudha nodded. "Not even Jairam? Don't let him know that I told you. Promise?" Then she added "And don't get angry or annoyed with me, please, will you?" Again she burst crying.

Sudha is confused to say the least. Where is all this leading to? What secret is on Deepa's mind? She doesn't want Jairam to know! Who is this Jairam? What did he do to her baby? She recalled all sorts of horrible stories about child abuses and sexual assaults. Did he do any harm to her?  Her heart skipped a beat. Oh, God! How to handle this situation?

Shaking her by the shoulders she almost shouted, "Who is this Jairam? What the hell did he do? Tell me quickly."

Deepa said between sobs. "Please, Mummy, forgive me. I know it is bad and.. and.. a sin. But he forced me giving me all sorts of threats."

Sudha is waiting with bated breath staring at her. Deepa swallowed hard. "He... he... he forced me to show him... show him... my..." Again she broke down.

Sudha's face reddened. "Tell me, Deepa, show him your... what?" She asked in a shrill tone.

Deepa wiped her tears and gathering some courage, said in a low tone. "I know, I should not have agreed. But what can I do? He is so big and strong. He is a very bad boy. Always gets low grades. Our teacher said this time it is impossible for him to get pass marks even. This is the third time for him, you know..."

Sudha was listening impatiently. 'Why is this girl diverting the point?' She frowned.

Deepa continued. "So if he fails this time, he will be sent away from this school. He pleaded with me to show him my paper in the examination. I know he needs some help. But how can I let him copy from my paper? I know, I should not encourage such cheating. So I refused. But he did not leave me. He threatened me that he would hit me hard if I don't agree. And he would make false complaints against me to the teacher. I was scared, Mummy, scared a lot. So last two days I allowed him to copy from my paper. Please, don't get angry with me, Mummy, I know it is a wrong thing to do. That's why I am sad and ashamed all these days. Again tomorrow, he will pester me and I have to agree. I don't want to do that. How can I escape from him, Mummy? I don't know what to do!" Again Deepa burst down. At the same time she felt light in heart having unloaded her burden which was tormenting her till then.

Sudha felt relieved in a way. Yet, she was moved to tears with her sad plight. Patting her head, she tried to soothe her saying, "It is okay, Deepa, don't cry. I can understand your plight. It is a wrong deed but you were helpless. At least now you should put a stop to it. Don't worry, I will have a word with your teacher. You need not worry. Now, relax and prepare for tomorrow's exam. He will not trouble you again. I will see to it."

Deepa wiped her tears and looked at her mother hopefully. "Really, Mummy?"

Sudha nodded. "Yes, of course, I will tell the teacher to change his seat away from others. Why didn't you tell me before? Or your teacher? Why did you suffer so much silently? When you know that boy is doing wrong and forcing you also to do likewise, you should not keep quiet. You should expose him and put a stop to all that. You need not take his threats seriously. He will not harm you. Don't be scared like this in future. Do not fear...ever.  Do you understand?"

Deepa nodded and after a while added, "But Mummy, I feel pity for him. Poor fellow, do you think the teacher will punish him severely? If only he does well in the exams!"

Sudha looked at her. "No, Deepa, you need not sympathise him. It is his fault. He should have studied well from the beginning. It seems he did not learn the lesson even after a couple of failures. Let him pay for his actions."

Deepa thought for a while and considered what her mother said. She nodded in agreement. 

2 comments:

  1. very nice but true feelings of a teenage girl like Deepa. poor girl!! very sincere. natural fears of a mother also true. Papa! it is a natural narration of a very natural concept. Veni

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  2. Good to read for second time also.Very innocent feelings of a teen aged girl.Natural one

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