TO MY CHILDREN IN THEIR YOUTH

                       TO  MY  CHILDREN  IN  THEIR  YOUTH
                                   
My  sweet  little  darlings,
The  two apples  of  my  eyes,
When  did  you  grow  up ?
You  gave  me  my  second  childhood  and  the  third,
My  second  teenage  and  the  third,
And  how  I  loved  it !
But, for  my  sweet  second  youth
You  keep  me  waiting  and  waiting.

Do  you  know -

Along  with  you  and  along  with  you  both -
I  reexperienced  my childhood
And  re-lived  my teenage.
Along  with  you  and  along  with  you  both -
I  re-learnt  to  stand  and  walk ;
To  utter  small  sweet  words
in a  language  very  much  unique ;
I  re-learnt  my  A,B,C and  rhymes;
My 1,2,3  and  sums ;
For  the  second  time  and  the  third  time.

Along  with  you - I  
Re-entered  the  wonderland  of  Alice;
Re-discovered  Ridinghood and Cinderella  ;
Cried  and  laughed  with  Snowwhite;
Re-enjoyed  Tarzan and  Sindbad ,
Robinhood  and  Alibaba ;
Re-met  Dennis  and  thanked  God  that
Neither  of you  were  such  a  menace ;
Re-read  Panchtantra  and  Amar  Chitra  Katha .
Oh, how  I enjoyed  and  re-enjoyed all  that !

Along  with  you - but  for  the  first  time -
I  was  introduced  to  many  more  joys
Which I never  knew  existed .
My  first Archie I read  with  you ;
My  first  ghazal I heard  with  you ;
My  first Jackie Chan I saw with you ;
My  first Jackson I listened  with  you ;

You introduced  me -
To  the  melodious  world
Of  Jalotas  and  Hassans ;
To  the  romantic  world
Of  Mills  and  Boons ;
To  the  adventurous  world  of
Heman , Batman and Superman;
To  the  thunderous  world  of
Rock and  Heavy  Metal ;
To  the  action- filled  world  of
Shaolins and  Schwarzneggers
And our own Nanas and Devgans ;

Oh, tiny fragments  of  my  heart  and  soul !
How  grateful  I  am  to  you  both !

For - along  with  you  and  along  with  you
I  learnt  and  learnt ;
Discovered  and  discovered
A whole  new  world  of  fun  and  thrill .

But -

When  did  you  grow  up ?
Where  did  I  lose  you ?
In  the dense and hectic jungles  of  life, or
In  the  perennial  flow  of  time , or
In  the  unending  process  of  

your  growing  up ?
Where  are  the  eager  pupils
And  the  enthusiastic  teachers ?
The  know-nothings  and
The  know-alls  rolled  in  one ?
Where  and  when  did  you  drift  away ?

You  shared  your  childhood  and  teenage  with  me -
Me, the  ever-loving  and  ever-supportive mother ;
But  when  youth  arrived-
Your  youth- oh, your  very  own  youth -
That  invisible wall between  you  and  me
Why did you deprive me
of a sweet second  youth and  a  third?

For- now, at  last -

I  am  at  a  loss  in  your  world-
Your  world  of  youth  and ambition ;
Your  world  of  Computers  and Software,
Derivatives and Securities;

Oh, lights  and  joys  of  my  life !

Did  you  outgrow  me ? or
Did  I  grow old?

BHARATHI"S SEARCH FOR ROOTS

                                     BHARATHI'S  SEARCH  FOR  ROOTS

Bharathi heaved a big sigh of relief. Her final examination was over and now she is free to let her hair loose. She is not worried about the results. She is sure to come out in flying colours. And one month back she secured a decent and high-paying job in a well known MNC. So no need to worry about that either. 

Ever since she started school at the age of three to the just concluded B. Tech. examinations, her time was entirely taken up by studies, studies and more studies. Now she is determined to enjoy life for full three months. Until she joins her first job. 

Her parents approached her. Sridhar has a big envelope in his hand. By one look at their somber faces, she guessed they have something serious to talk to her about. 

She was proved right.

Shanthi cleared her throat. "Bharathi, we want to tell you something important. Now that the exams are out of your mind, listen carefully and with a cool mind."

Bharathi sighed. "Mummy, please give me some time. I am not yet ready for marriage and commitment. Please let me enjoy life for a while....."

Sridhar interrupted her. "No, no, Bharathi. It is not about your marriage or your future. Rather....it is about your past..."

Bharathi was puzzled. Shanthi held her hand reassuringly. Sridhar handed her the envelope he was holdng. "What is this?" She asked. "Open and read. But I tell you, keep a cool mind."

Bharathi opened it apprehensively. 

It is a lengthy document. She started scanning the page cursorily but suddenly she stiffened and started again, this time carefully and meticulously. It was dated some twenty years back and says that Sridhar and Shanthi adopted a baby girl by name Bharathi.

She looked at them puzzled. "It says... does it mean... is it true?.." 

They nodded, scared to open their mouths lest they may break down. "But.. why didn't you tell me? I never had even the faintest idea!" 

Shanthi said in a quivering tone, "We never wanted to tell you, Bharathi, as far as we are concerned, you are our own daughter. But now that you are a grown up adult, we thought you should know. You are entitled to know that. So..." she left her words unfinished.

"Who are my real parents, then?" She asked. Shanthi winced at that. Sridhar patted her hand and said, "We don't know" in reply to his daughter.

Bharathi kept staring at them with wide eyes. Her mind became blank and she did not know how to react or what to say. After a couple of minutes, she sighed and muttering, "Please leave me alone for some time", she ran to her room and closed the door behind her. Shanthi got up, about to follow her but Sridhar stopped her, saying, "Give her some time to digest the harsh reality."

For two days they left her to herself without raising the topic again. Bharathi was struggling to come to terms with the fact. She learnt from the document that she was picked from an orphanage. She started thinking about her real parents. 'Why did they leave me there? Did they resent the birth of a girl child? Or was I an illegitimate child of a careless couple? Who was my mother? Was she an unwed mother and afraid of social stigma? Was she a woman of loose character? Did she know at least who my father was?' 

So many questions and doubts! There is no doubt that her foster parents also are unaware of the answers and they did not bother about the details obviously. She felt immensely grateful to them. Frankly they never gave her any scope for her to doubt their parentage. They showered so much love and affection on her. Still...she felt uneasy.

Finally she made up her mind and approached her parents. "Daddy, I want to know about my real parents" She said.

Sridhar looked at her. "We told you we don't know, Bharathi, we just visited the orphanage and brought you home."

"I guessed that much, daddy. But I want to know my roots."

Shanthi looked at her apprehensively. "But how? Why? Why do you want to know? What do you want to do? Is it necessary or important? Are you not happy here?"

Bharathi looked at them pleadingly. "Please, mummy, don't misunderstand me. I am very happy and this is the only home I know. Still, I am just restless thinking about all that. I just want to know to satisfy my curiosity. That's all. I don't know how. I will start by enquiring at the orphanage. I am not even sure whether I will succeed or not. Please allow me to try at least." 

"You will come back to us, right? You will never leave us, will you?..." Her voice almost choked with emotion. Bharathi smiled reassuringly. "Don't ever doubt me on that count, mummy, I am your daughter and remain so throughout my life."

           *****

Bharathi looked at the building. The name, "Sishu Vihar" is prominently displayed. 'So this is my first home where my parents found me' She thought. She entered into a big waiting hall. One of the doors leading to a room is named "Office Room." She opened the door and went inside. A man raised his head from the files on his table and looked at her questioningly. She cleared her throat. "I came for some information about twenty years back." He nodded. She continued, "I came to know recently that I was adopted from this orphanage. Do you have any records of my birth?"

He said, "We are faced with such requests now and then. Let me see what I can find." He went to a cupboard full of files and asked her whether she knew any details about her date of birth or date of adoption. She nodded and reaching into her handbag, gave him a slip. "15th August, 1995." He read aloud and started searching. After five minutes he took out a ledger labelled 1995. Sitting at his table, he opened it and after reaching the month of August, he raised his head and looked at her. "It is mentioned here that you were born here on 15th August and were given for adoption to one Mr Sridhar on 24th February, 1996."

She nodded and waited with a racing heart. He closed the ledger and shook his head. "Only that much, nothing else." She looked at him puzzled. "Nothing else? Nothing at all about my mother or father?" He replied in the negative. "We normally don't know those details as mostly the babies are left at the door. Even if we know, we don't keep any such information as a matter of policy."

"I came with high hopes, Sir. Any other way to find out any information at all?" 

He shook his head.

She came out and did not know what to do next. A girl came out from the office room and came to her. "I heard all about your query. I think Rangaswami may help you." Her face brightened. The girl said, "I was also raised here and now working in the office. Rangaswami was the gardener cum security here and his wife, Parvathi was an ayah. They used to live here on the premises. 4-5 years back, they left and now living with their employed daughter. I meet them often. They must be here when you were born. And may remember any details about you. They helped some persons like you earlier too."

Her face brightened. Taking the address of the couple, she thanked her. 'So this is my birthplace!' She looked around thinking to herself and left the place.

   *****

She checked the address and rang the bell and waited. It is a small apartment in a modest locality. An old man opened the door. "Mr. Rangaswami?" She enquired. He nodded and let her come in.

"My name is Bharathi. I got your address from Sishu Vihar." She then explained the purpose of her visit. He looked at her thoughtfully. "Please help me, uncle. I want to know about myself and my roots." She pleaded.

"Why do you want to know now, after all these years? What do you want to do?" She shrugged. "Just curiosity, uncle. And now I will be joining a good job. So wondering whether my parents need any help or support...." 

He smiled. "Very nice intention, child. Did you say, you were born on 15th August?" He looked at his wife sitting nearby. "Now I remember. My memory is falling nowadays but  I remember that day long back because you were the only person there who was born on our Independence day." He went on to narrate the happenings of 24 years back.

"Your father and mother served a well to do family and lived in their outhouse. Once the master and wife went abroad. One rainy night, some thieves tried to break into the house. Your father fought with them but could not stop them. They stabbed him. When your mother, who was very much pregnant, tried to come to him, he cried, "Go, run away and save our child's life."

"She hesitated but finally ran away into the darkness aimlessly. After sometime she collapsed on the road and some kind rickshaw puller brought her to Sishu Vihar. She went into labour and you were born in the early hours of next morning. That being Independence day, our chief patron came to hoist the flag and it was he who named you Bharathi."

"And my mother?" She enquired in a low tone. He shook his head. "A couple of hours after you were born, she breathed her last. My wife was with her throughout her labour and in between the spasms of her pains, she narrated her story to her." His wife nodded her head in affirmation. 

Bharathi wiped her eyes. "Thank you, uncle, thank you very much." She smiled at them. Slowly she stepped outside feeling relieved. 'So, I am not an unwanted or abandoned child. I am the daughter of a brave and loyal man who died performing his duty and a helpless woman who left her dying husband and ran away to ensure safe and secure birth to her child, that is, ME! I need not feel ashamed of my parents or my birth. I should be proud of them.' She held her head high and headed home with a light heart and renewed vigour.

     *****

Parvathi looked at Rangaswami and smiled. "Wah, what a story you weaved so effortlessly once again! How do you get new and different ideas whenever anyone approaches you to know about their birth? Really you are great." 

He looked at her. "That is the least I can do to help the confused kids who come to me enquiring about their birth. About some children I don't really remember the details. But I do remember about this girl because of that date." She nodded. "Yes, I too remember her birth. I was doubting whether you were going to tell her the real story." 

"How can I tell that poor girl that her mother was a mentally retarded beggar woman, who might not even aware who the father of her child was or anything at all about her pregnancy or childbirth, for that matter?" He shook his head. She clucked her tongue with sympathy. "Yes, that night when I showed her daughter to her, she shook her vigorously and started laughing hysterically. I was scared for the child's safety and took her away to the next room. Poor woman, by next morning she disappeared and never was seen again." She sighed.

"Anyway we should be happy for the girl whom our chief patron named, Bharathi. Did you notice that when she entered, her face was tense and sad with puffy red eyes? Poor girl, she must be crying ever since she came to know that she was an adopted child! I did not want to make her more sorrowful by telling her the truth."

"Yes, you really lifted her spirits just as you did with all the other girls and boys who came seeking your help. Keep going." She gave him an appreciative look.

OUR GOLDEN ANNIVERSARY

                           OUR  GOLDEN  ANNIVERSARY 

It was the 10th day of March, 1969,

Considered as auspicious for us;

The time was well past midnight,

The guests were yawning and sleepy;

Then WE GOT MARRIED.

He hailed from West Godavari,

And I from East Godavari;

He from a typical rural setup,

And I from somewhat an urban town;

He was well travelled with wide exposure,

And I grew up confined to my hometown;

Still WE  GOT MARRIED.

We did not meet or communicate;

We did not discuss our likes and dislikes;

We did not think about dating or courting;

We did not gauge our chemistry or compatibility;

We did not chalk out any terms and conditions;

We did not even look properly at each other;

Before WE  GOT MARRIED.

The present generation, eternally 

Glued to mobile phones and internet,

Facebook and Twitter and WhatsApp,

May be shocked and wonder endlessly,

Why and how WE GOT MARRIED!

My parents were impressed with the boy,

And his stable job and his decent family.

His parents approved the fairly educated girl,

From a large traditional family, ideal those days;

That's why and how WE GOT MARRIED.

We had no lofty ideals or ambitious goals,

To shape up either our lives to be spent together,

Or to guide the future of our to be born children.

And determined that we should all strive our best,

To lead compassionate, and contented lives,

We embarked on our journey with open hearts and minds,

From the day WE GOT MARRIED.

Now, after spending half a century together,

We tend to look back at all those years.

We find our own ups and downs; tiffs and tussles;

Sweet and bitter moments and memories;

And a fairly satisfying and happy companionship too;

We understand and adjust more and more with passing time,

Thankful that WE  GOT  MARRIED!

OUR JOURNEY BACK HOME FROM NEW YORK

It happened sometime back. We visited our son and family in New York. it was my first trip abroad. After spending 5-6 months with them, it was time for our return. It was a very eventful journey and I wish to share with you the whole story of our return journey from the States.

Here it is.

After we boarded at New York, I tried the control buttons to adjust the foot rest. But alas! the seat, instead of the footrest started to raise. I was confused and kept trying some other buttons. Raogaru was annoyed with me for being such a dumbo, unable to manage even the simplest of simple buttons. But when he tried to help, he also could not. I kept quiet for a while. Then ventured to fiddle with all the buttons and lo, discovered that some buttons, which are meant for adjusting the seat position were interchanged. Does it happen often? Anyway I tried some permutations and combinations and finally ralaxed in a more comfortable position and the rest of the journey was uneventful.

We landed at Mumbai at about 3:45pm, one and a half hours before time and cleared the customs easily. By the time we came to collect the baggage, all our bags were already downloaded from the belt and kept together. First we thought maybe they are not ours though they looked the same, and that we were mistaken. And then thought maybe someone else by mistake collected them. But it turned out to be the idea of an over-enthu porter. He identified our bags by the yellow ribbons we tied to our bags. Though it was done by us with the intention to make it easy for us to identify our bags, it helped the seasoned porter more.

We had booking for the next day to Hyd. But as the Hyd flight is at 6:45, we had ample time. So we thought of trying our luck then itself. We had to go to the domestic airport, some 15-20 minutes drive. We contacted the vehicle which was to collect us and as it is already on the way, we decided to wait but it took longer than expected, adding to our tension. Mumbai traffic, you know! Finally it arrived and our journey to domestic airport also was very slow!

By 5:15 or so we reached there. Raogaru hurried to the counter to try for the tickets. They are available but the system was down and it took half an hour to get them finally. Then we hurried to check in as the time was running, but the girl there said no seats for us! It appeared to be due to lack of communication between the booking counter and the check in counter. And we already sent the car away! After some firing and some hectic activity back and forth and some very anxious moments finally our boarding passes were issued. My security check was over fast but Raogaru was not emerging for a long time. Ultimately he came out panting. It seems some items in our bag are not allowed in the cabin baggage, which we cannot leave behind! They are allowed in the check-in luggage. Fortunately I had a couple o spare locks with me. So he had to run back to lock and check-in that bag also.

Then we called our daughter, Manju in Hyderabad who was expected to receive us on the next day, to tell her about the change. It seems there was heavy downpour in Hyderabad and she and Ravi were stuck deep in the traffic on their way back home from offices! She was worried whether they will be able to reach home before we land!

We boarded but to our panic, found both our seats were occupied! One was from staff and so was promptly sent to elsewhere. The other was a lady who, dont-know-why, took a fancy for my seat! I sat in her seat and the airhostess talked my neighbour into exchanging his seat with Raogaru, no, we didn't request her, and lo..we got consecutive seats!

Suddenly I remembered to my utter panic, that the last checked-in bag contained all our valuables, yes, the gold and cash, Indian as well as American, as we intended to keep it with us, for the sake of safety. I should have kept quiet but very naively mentioned it to Raogaru and now it was his turn to panic. And how he panicked! Added to that, he remembered to have noticed that the lock of one of our boxes was already missing during the journey from New York to Mumbai, thus raising doubts about the safety of the contents! Until we got that bag in Hyd with lock intact he was tense and worried. Even then, after reaching Manju’s house, without even bothering to say a hello to her, he immediately opened and checked its contents the first thing and then only fully relaxed!

That was the story.

That is how our journey went off. Quite an unforgetable experience really!

WHAT'S IN A NAME

Sobha and Subbarao became the happy and proud parents of a cute little daughter. Everyone is so much excited as it is after a long time that a birth happened in both the families.

Now the biggest task facing them is naming the baby. The ceremony is scheduled for tomorrow. Since almost one week all sorts of guessing and lobbying was going on.

Mangatayaru, mother of Subbarao is secretly hoping that the new born will be named after her. But she is not sure whether the youngsters will like her rather old fashioned name. She is curious yet cautious at the same time.

So when the general talk of the house turned from guessing the name of the new born to naming the babies in general, she grabbed the opportunity and pronounced.

"Naming the baby suitably is very important for the welfare of the kid. That's why our people used to name them after well wishing elders of the family. So that they will not be offended and bless the new born with all their hearts." She declared meaningfully. 

She half expected that her son and daughter in law will say that they will give their baby her name. They just listened but didn't say anything. Though disappointed, she kept quiet.

Subbarao looked at Sobha. She knew very well about his pet peeve that he is stuck with an old fashioned name only because his father was eager to name him after his father. She remembered what happened the previous day.

Iswari, her mother caught hold of her alone the previous day itself and tried to brainwash her against this. "Sobha, don't agree if your husband wants to name the doll as 'Mangatayaru'." She said in as sarcastic a tone as possible. "Such an old fashioned name, yak! Sounds worse than my name." 

Sensing that her daughter was non committal, she added. "If you don't mind, name the baby after your father, Sobha. He used to be so fond of you, remember? Wherever his soul is, he will be happy and bless you. Neither of your two brothers named any of their children after him. At least you do it. And I will spend the rest of my years feeling his presence in the baby." She wiped her eyes, though they are dry. 

Sobha gave her a surprising look. "But, mommy, it is a male name! How can we name a girl 'Anjaneyulu'?"

"Why, you can change it a little, like Anju or Anjali. Like we changed Subbalakshmi to Sobha." She shuddered recollecting the tough time she had, to convince her adamant husband in that matter. "For that matter,  my name also can be modified to suit modern times....like Isha or Ishitha or some such thing." 

Now she looked at her mother who gave an 'I told you so' look and said, "But nowadays youngsters prefer modern names, not like in our times. So they just modify or alter the names a little accordingly." After a pause she chuckled and added, "Of course some names cannot be modernised however much we try." 

Mangatayaru's face reddened but she restrained her itching tongue from giving a fitting retort.

After a while Iswari said as if she just got the idea. "Sobha, last night your father appeared in my dream and enquired after the baby. It is always advisable to remember the departed elders in the family while naming the babies. Then they will get blessings from heaven above!"

Mangatayaru became alert and this time did not keep quiet. "It is not auspicious to name the new born after the dead people. Instead, the living seniors of the family are the ideal choice."

Hayagreevarao, her husband sat twirling his moustache.

Iswari wrinkled her nose. "Does she know what does 'Haya' mean?" She said to Sobha in a low tone but loud enough to be heard by all.

Mangatayaru gave her a sharp look. "Our elders gave us meaningful names only. Anyway it is gesture to show our respect towards elders not to ridicule the meanings." Then she added as an afterthought. "In any case, a horse is better than a monkey."

Iswari looked at her angrily.

Subbarao sensing that matters are becoming out of control, intervened. "Ok, ok. We are happy that you all show so much concern about our baby. Anyway there is still time to decide the name. We will keep all your suggestions in mind."

Sobha nodded in agreement and gave her mother an imploring look to keep quiet.

Now Hayagreevarao wanted to have his say. "Look, Subbu, I don't agree with what your mother says about naming after departed people. I wish you name your daughter Tulasi, after your grandmother. Poor lady, none of our four brothers produced a girl to bear her name. At least you people honour her." 

Mangatayaru twisted her mouth on hearing her mother in law's name. "Why so much discussion? Subbu, our family deity is Rajarajeswari Devi. I feel it is the correct name for the light of our family."

Iswari also kept quiet as it is not prudent to dispute with divine issues.

The next day the house was filled with guests..aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, nieces of all ages. Everybody was curiously waiting to know the name.

"Maithri" Wrote Subbarao on the sacred rice and all clapped.

The elders were disappointed but as others were also equally ignored, they felt a queer solace.  

"Whose selection is it, yours or my sister's?" Krishna inquired.

"Must be Sobha's. He respects the wife's wishes a lot, unlike some dominating husbands." His wife Sarala retorted.

Krishna touched his ears saying "Point noted." in a jovial tone.

Sobha replied "It is his choice, brother."

"But I discussed with her and she also approved. So it is sort of a joint decision." Explained Subbarao.

"It's ok, I know my sister is always an ideal wife. Unlike many others." He winked at Sarala. "Next time it should be her turn." 

"Sure, why not!"

"How and why did you choose the name," One cousin enquired, "ignoring all elders?"

Sobha shook her head. "No, we did not ignore anyone. In fact we accommodated all."

"Yes, guys," he explained. "As we do not want to offend our people by choosing one over the other, we wanted to satisfy all. So we took the first letters of all the names and created Maithri." He looked around triumphantly.

"Mangatayaru, Anjaneyulu, Iswari, Tulasi, Hayagreevarao, Rajarajeswari.." counted one cousin and said, "Wow, what a brilliant idea!"

"We are lucky that these names fitted well to create an attractive and meaningful name." Sobha added satisfactorily.

"But Subbu uncle, what does the second 'I' stand for?" One nephew got a doubt.

Subbarao fumbled and mumbled. "Oh, that! Well......we needed it to bind all the letters."

He did not mention the fact that he is a crazy fan of actress Ileana. Neither did Sobha who is aware of his crush.

Little Maithri smiled in her sleep.