CHANGED IMPRESSIONS

The marriage function of my daughter, Jyothi is going on. I and Padma are on the dias performing the pre-marriage rituals. I had been very tense and nervous right from the day the match is fixed. As a father of the bride, I am worried whether the function will be over smoothly without any hiccups.

My brothers, Hari and Madhu, along with their wives and my son Kiran assured me of their help and support several times over previous two weeks or so. But I never could feel enough confident about their involvement and capability. In my opinion, they are all carefree and irresponsible fellows. I notice them roaming around most of their time with friends. My son, Kiran more so. Madhu and Hari are also the same type. But now that they are married, they slowed down a little, but only a little! Still not at all dependable with any responsibility. Being in the same city, we meet very frequently. In fact during any functions in their homes, they leave everything to Padma and me without bothering much. Of course I feel elated with the importance given to us. But sometimes I tend to feel they should get more involved at least in their matters instead of being lazy and take-it-easy types.

Our Kiran is a typical jolly and carefree boy. Padma often tries to pacify me saying that once he settles down, he will be more mature and responsible. But I have my own doubts. In fact I hold the same impression about his friends and the present younger generation in general. Padma on the other hand, feels I overreact.

But now, I am forced to change my opinion. Those three turned out to be excellent event managers. Card printing and distribution, shopping, packing and shifting to the marriage venue, all are over very smoothly and systematically with their help. Now while Hari and Sunitha are in the dining hall supervising the buffet, Madhu, Leela and Kiran are at the entrance receiving the guests. I relaxed for the first time and tried to concentrate on the rituals going on.

After a few minutes my eyes again wandered to the entrance of the hall. To my surprise, I found only Leela. No sight of either Madhu or Kiran! I frowned. Those useless fellows must be hanging around somewhere ignoring all my instructions to be there throughout. In fact I am not surprised much. It just proved my original impression about them once again. I am a fool to be impressed with them initially. But now I am worried more about the proper reception of guests.

I noticed two young men came and after wishing Leela, stood there receiving the guests. I looked at Padma and she mumbled they are friends of Kiran. So this idiot passed on his duty to them! Very clever! As if he is too busy, he needed assistants too! Alas, the marriage of my only daughter and the guests are being received and attended by some unrelated youth! They also must be wayward like my own son! How long will they remain here? I felt like screaming!

Then Kiran came running with his cellphone glued to his ear. He was talking animatedly with someone. Nodding at the reception party, obviously satisfied, he again disappeared. I was seething with anger. But the priest asked something and I had to force my attention back to the rituals.

After a while I noticed Leela also disappeared and two young women, probably the boys' wives or girlfriends took her place. I am becoming impatient at the goings on. But I had to control myself with great difficulty. The function is more important. I continued observing from the dias. It was like a game of musical chairs. The young men were replaced by another pair and the girls too. Kiran was giving flying visits now and then and gave satisfied nods. And disappear! Sunitha came for a brief period and left. No sign of either Madhu or Leela or Hari! I was puzzled and decided mentally to give them all a good dressing down at the immediate available opportunity which they will remember lifelong.

When we got a short respite in between, I ran down from the dias and approached the youth. They were scared at my sudden appearance and mumbled something to my queries about Madhu and Kiran. I ran to the dining hall where the buffet was almost concluding. Hari was not there. Only Sunitha was there grabbing some lunch hurriedly. I spotted Kiran at a distance but before I could catch hold of him, he ran out with his cellphone to the ear in a hurry. I was about to call him but someone came to tell me that I was required on the dias.

It was almost four O' clock in the afternoon by the time the function concluded. The groom's party left along with Jyothi. The trio did not even bid farewell to Jyothi! Most of our guests too took their leave and we relaxed in our room. But the behaviour of the trio was pricking me a lot. So I wanted to give them a piece of my mind and sent for them. Surprisingly none was available. "Must be making merry in some theater or mall" I said contemptuously. Padma put her hand on my arm and tried to calm me down.

Then Sunitha entered the room timidly. "Did you call me?" She asked.

I looked at her searchingly. She avoided my stare. "In fact I called those three idiots. Where are they, do you have any idea? May I be enlightened about their whereabouts?" I could not hide my contempt. She raised her head and about to say something but kept quiet. I am convinced that she was trying to cover them up. I am too tired to stretch things further. "Just tell those fellows to be courteous enough to meet me when and if they come back." I yawned and closed my eyes.

"Don't be so rude" She almost shouted. "Don't say such inauspicious words, for God's sake. Let us wish they will come back, especially Madhu!" She started crying.

Both Padma and I startled at her outburst. I sat up and stared at her. "What? What do you mean?" I almost shrieked. My heart was beating fast. Padma made her sit down and drew her close, wiping her tears.

"Yes, don't blame those poor souls. You can't imagine what they are going through all the time! If only you knew what happened.." She started narrating....

The function just started. Madhu, Leela and Kiran are receiving the guests botn from the bride's as well as the groom's side. Some very close people are keen to watch the marriage rituals but many are interested in completing the lunch first. Accordingly Kiran is directing them to the dining hall.

Suddenly an elderly lady approached Kiran. "Look, young man, my husband is a hypertension patient. We misplaced his medicines in the hurry. Can you get them urgently, please?" She gave him a slip of paper with the names of the required medicines.

Kiran was about to go but Madhu took it from his hands. "I will get them, Kiran. You remain here. It is essential that you should be here."

But almost half an hour had passed. He didn't come back. Meanwhile the lady came and told him in a happy tone that she found the drugs in one of the bags. She left, apologising profusely.

Kiran and Leela were worried when they could not get any response from Madhu's mobile. Hari was also informed and all of them were panicked. But they did not make it known to anybody else as they did not want to spoil the function.

Suddenly Kiran's mobile rang. It was from Madhu. But an unknown man spoke. It seemed Madhu met with an accident and the man saw him on the road unconscious and brought him to an hospital. He got Kiran's number from the missed calls list on Madhu's mobile and wanted to inform him.

Kiran did not know what to do in his initial shock. Later he recovered and told only Hari as he did not want to scare Leela without knowing the full details. Hari immediately rushed to the hospital. Kiran called some of his close friends and requested them to help Leela and Sunitha who were left alone. He himself started shuttling between the function area and dining area supervising both and in between inquiring from Hari the position at the hospital too. Madhu was seriously injured and said to be in a critical condition. Then Kiran ensured that Leela had some food and sent her to the hospital along with a couple of his friends. All the while he managed here without arousing any suspicion in anybody. Like a pendulum he ran about hiding his own anxiety and tension from others.

Sunitha wiped her eyes.

"He didn't tell even me the whole story until the function is almost over excepting that Hari had gone on some errand and I did not have a clue to the actual happenings. Only after I finished my lunch, he told me briefly and he also left for the hospital. He managed so well and he has some very good friends who immediately came to do his bidding. I really wonder whether it is the same Kiran, whom we always treat as an irresponsible, childish and playful boy!"

Padma and I listened dumbstruck. I did not know what to say! How I cursed them all, and Kiran in particular! What tension the poor boy must be suffering all the while! He, who is just out of his teens! Still he managed so well orchestrating everyone! My heart felt heavy.

Padma recovered first and asked in a quivering tone, "How is Madhu now?"

Sunitha is still gloomy. "Not yet regained consciousness. That's why Kiran also ran there."

We immediately rushed to the hospital.

By that time Madhu was declared to be out of danger to the relief of all of us. When I saw Kiran there, he appeared to be haggard and tired. "Kiran, did you eat anything?" I enquired fondly. He gave me a surprised look. I gave him a big hug.

"Well done, my boy! I am proud of you." I said with all my heart.

It took almost one week for Madhu to recover completely and get discharged. All the time, Kiran and Hari were constantly on their toes while Sunitha helped Padma at home. After everything returned to normal, I told Padma, "I have been under wrong notions all these years, Padma. Our young man proved his worth, though in a tragic circumstance." She nodded.

HER DECISION

Vanaja unlocked and opened the door saying, "Come in, aunty"

Six year old Puja left her mother's hand and ran inside ahead of them. Bhavani entered the house following Vanaja with a smile on her face. Vanaja showed her a chair and excusing herself, went after Puja.

Bhavani sat and looked around. It was a small apartment and the drawing room is neat and tidy, without unnecessary decorations and sprucing up. There was a garlanded photo in the showcase, of a handsome young man, must be Vanaja's husband. She sighed. She felt at home and pleasant in the simple home.

'My decision is not wrong. This woman will prove to be a perfect match for my Raghu.' She thought with satisfaction. But will she agree? Not easily, she knows. 'Poor Raghu!' Her heart felt heavy. 'If only he settles down with a soft and simple girl like Vanaja!'

"What are you thinking about, aunty?" Vanaja asked cheerfully, offering her coffee. "How is my humble house?"

Bhavani smiled and looked at her. "I have a small request, Vanaja. But I am not sure how you will take it." She paused. "What is Puja doing?" She enquied.

Immediately Vanaja stiffened. She could half guess what is coming up. "She is playing with her friends outside."

"Whatever is your decision, I will not mind. But listen patiently to what I say." Bhavani started.

"Raghu is my only son. We are having our own business which is doing well. When his father was alive, he strived hard to develop it. Ever since his death ten years back, Raghu took charge of it and proved his mettle."

'So, it is heading the way I guessed.' Thought Vanaja. She was not new to such proposals.

"For a long time, I was asking him to marry and settle down. But he is totally against the idea. I tried to convince him but he vehemently opposed. To my probing questions, he replied, there is no lover or no failure in love. He doesn't want to marry. That's all!"

Bhavani wiped her eyes. "You can imagine my worry." She took her hand in hers. "I know you since more than six months. I am very much impressed with your polite nature, manners, behaviour, everything. I feel you are suitable to be my daughter in law. I told him about you and he is a little favourable. Don't worry about Puja, we will accept her with open hands."

Vanaja shook her head and said, "But, aunty..."

Bhavani stopped her. "Don't say no outright. Listen fully to what I have to say. Take your own time. And let me know your decision."

She gave her with a puzzled look. "But any man will have certain expectations from his future wife and I told you..."

"Yes, I remember very well what you told me. And you will not have any problem.."

Bhavani has been watching that good looking, simple and traditional woman, obviously a widow, in the park for quite some days. She, like herself, comes daily with a six year old girl. Slowly they got acquainted. She learnt that her name is Vanaja and she lost her husband a couple of years back. She is a lecturer in a nearby college and the girl, Puja is her only daughter. Bhavani was impressed by her simplicity and plain nature. Though often an idea started taking shape in her mind, she suppressed it, knowing that it is unfair to entertain such ideas.

Over a time, they became close. Very often she noticed Puja stare longingly at other kids in the park having a jolly time with their fathers. Vanaja also was aware of it and tried her best to divert her daughter.

Two days before, on such an occasion, she very casually enquired about her plans for her and Puja's future.

"I have no choice, aunty. I have my job and a few of my husband's savings. I will strive to educate her well and give her as good a future as I can."

"But didn't you observe, she is longing for a father in her life? Did you ever think of marrying again, so that she will get a father and you will have someone to share your responsibility?"

Vanaja kept quiet for a while. Then she replied, "I know, Puja is missing her father. But how can I be sure that I will get a broad minded person who can accept her wholeheartedly? I heard so many stories of wrong choices by widowed mothers and the repercussions. No, aunty, I don't think it will be a good idea in the interest of Puja too. I don't want to invite any problems when everything is going on satisfactorily. Status quo is best, I think."

"I can understand. But now times are changing. You may be lucky to get a good man. You should not deprive her of a brighter future with your unfounded apprehensions, should you?" Bhavani tried to reason with her. Vanaja nodded her head but did not reply.

"Then what about you?"

Vanaja looked at her sharply. "What is there about me?"

Bhavani was taken aback. Then she recovered and said softly. "You are young. Don't you think you deserve some happiness for you? As Puja grows up, she will drift a little away from you. What will you do then? Don't you need someone to share your life with?"

Vanaja shook her head. "I never felt so till now, aunty."

Bhavani cleared her throat. "What about..."

Vanaja did not let her finish. Avoiding her eyes, she said in a low tone, "I know what you will say next. Either emotionally or physically I never felt the need for any man in my life after Mahesh passed away. In fact, I detest even the idea of any man touching me at all! The very thought itself is unbearable for me." She shuddered. "I will remain faithful to Mahesh and his memories are enough for me." She said in a firm tone and wiped her eyes.

In a way Bhavani felt elated as her words revived her original idea.

She approached Raghu that night with her proposal. As usual he was adamant and reiterated his decision to remain single for ever. But she persisted and described at length about Vanaja's good nature and her firm opinions. Finally he relented a little. "First you tell her everything about me. If she is still willing, then I want to meet her and have a free and detailed talk personally before deciding." He said firmly.

"But remember one thing, Raghu. Her daughter is tender and innocent. You should accept her wholeheartedly. So think carefully. If you are not absolutely sure about yourself, there is no point in disturbing the poor lady." She warned.

Raghu nodded. After thinking over well, finally he consented and told her that morning to go ahead.

'At least one success.' She thought with satisfaction. Next task will be convincing Vanaja. But she did not want to take undue advantage of her. She wanted to clarify fully before pursuing the matter with her.

Bhavani came out of the past and looked at her. Now is the time to reveal the actual facts.

"Look, Vanaja, listen carefully to what I say. Don't think I am taking advantage of you. I must tell you Raghu was a little wayward in his college days enjoying with parties, friends and girlfriends. He was always a care free boy. Though he was good at studies, he was playful. I will not hide from you, he had a few very close girlfriends too. We both were worried a lot about his waywardness. But ten years back he had a ghastly accident and was in hospital for two months. After that he changed a lot. Around the same time his father passed away and he had to take over our company. He became serious, avoided all his friends and stopped all his other activities. First I thought it was a result of his father's sudden death and felt happy that at last he matured and became responsible."

She wiped her eyes. "But actually he became a recluse. He expressed his disinterest in marriage. I was clueless why he is not at all willing to marry. After dilly dallying for a couple of years, finally he confessed in me." She paused and took a deep breath.

"That accident left him a man only in name and appearance. He is unfit for normal married life."

Vanaja startled. "What? Is it true?"

Bhavani nodded. "He got very serious injuries. After treatment he became normal otherwise. He is healthy and normal looking and needs no help or support. Only this one loss is permanent. That's why he is not willing to marry and spoil the life of an innocent." She looked at her with tearful eyes. "That is the story, Vanaja. Now you think over. He wanted me to tell you everything without hiding. You are mature and sensible. There is no hurry." She held her hand. "Whatever you decide, I will not get offended. Let us continue as friends."

Vanaja nodded and mumbled "Give me some time."

She could not sleep that night. Tossing in her bed restlessly, she tried to make up her mind. Though she does not want to admit, she is feeling lonely in recent times. And at times she feels she is not capable of handling the burden of being a single parent. At such moments, she is scared about future too. But she is apprehensive of her decision proving wrong. What is the guarantee that this man will be sincere and ever supportive? Will he accept and welcome Puja wholeheartedly? That is the major issue to be considered carefully. Of course the old lady is decent and appears to be trustworthy but what about the man himself? And about his condition,.. will it be a problem and create rifts in future? She shook her head. Better to meet him a few times and try to assess him. There is no other way. Only if she is fully convinced, then only she will consent.

Raghu is restless. He will be meeting the woman in a short while. She did not give her approval yet but wanted to meet him and know him better before deciding. 'Am I doing the right thing? Should I or should I not agree? Is it wise for me to accept mother's proposal? She says the girl is not in favour of any physical intimacy. But that is for the present. Suppose at some future point, if she feels the need and gets frustrated with my inability, then?' He shrugged. 'Let her come. I will discuss with her all the pros and cons. Whatever has to happen will happen.'

Vanaja entered hesitatingly. He turned around to face her.

"You!" She shrieked.

"You!" He exclaimed.

Bhavani is taken aback. How do they know each other? She wondered. Vanaja turned to go. Bhavani stopped her. "How do you know Raghu? Why are you going?"  She asked in an anxious tone.

Vanaja looked at her sharply. "I know him as Ram. He may not remember me but I met him long back, before my marriage, at a friend's place. He is really a womaniser, as you told. He made friends with me though I did not encourage him much. Then he tried to lure and seduce me and enjoy but I refused to yield." Her tone was full of disgust. "Excuse me, aunty, for my saying so. It seems he got what he deserved. I don't want to share my life with a rogue, whatever shape he is in now!"

Raghuram hurried towards her. "Wait, Vanaja. I never forgot you. In fact I thought about you many times. Please listen to me. I am a changed person now. I am no longer such a rogue." Bhavani nodded in agreement.

"Those days I was a spoilt and wayward boy, I agree. Quite a number of girls used to surround and fall all over me ever ready to please me. I gave in to the temptation. You were the only girl I got really attracted in the true sense. But you refused me...me, the prized trophy of our circle. I got very much annoyed and insulted. For a second I thought of teaching you a lesson or taking revenge."

Vanaja winced. In fact after that incident, she was scared of the prospect of his attacking her in vengeance and for one week she did not venture outside her house.

"But I admonished myself for such cruel thoughts. Believe me, I am not such a vicious person. Never in my life did I force any girl. And I never ran after married women either. I enjoyed with only those who came to me willingly. I used to consider it all as heroism! That day after you gave me a good verbal thrashing, I got into my car and began driving aimlessly, unable to digest your rejection. I was thinking of you and your words. I did not even realise how and when I met with that accident. I opened my eyes in the hospital. Your refusal changed my outlook and during my hospital stay, I resolved to change my ways and win your heart some day. I gave a serious thought to marriage for the first time in my life, not at all aware of what is in store for me in my fate... Mother must have told you all about that. Believe my words, I am not a rogue. But yes, I do not deserve you and you are right in refusing me. Now that I had a chance of opening my heart to you, I feel very light. Thank you for listening patiently." Tears rolled down his eyes.

Vanaja looked at him. His tone and eyes were sincere and there is no doubt that whatever he spoke, was from the depth of his heart. Bhavani, now surprised at the turn of events and new revelations, remained speechless. Only her eyes were pleading.

After a brief period of silence, during which Vanaja thought about all that she heard just now, she came to a decision. She developed a sense of trust in this man. She went to him slowly and wiped his eyes.

OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN

Santhi is really puzzled and totally  perplexed. She, the wife of a Senior Executive is a very confused soul. She is unable to understand where she went wrong in all her thirty years of marriage.

“I must be a fool” she thought bitterly. She felt like banging her head against the wall. The happenings of the day before flashed before her eyes.

Her husband, Madhav was being felicitated on his retirement. She was also invited for the function. There, while listening to a number of speakers, eulogising her husband’s various qualities, some enlightenment dawned upon her.

“He is a very efficient and hard working person. We seldom come across such a dedicated officer. Nobody can fill the void created by his retirement”.

“He is a meticulous planner and a model decision maker. Whenever we have any problem, we look to him. We are assured of correct solutions.”

“He is a very pleasant and soft spoken person. We are very lucky to work under him. He never gets irritated or loses his temper. Whatever we want to say, he lends a patient ear.”

“He is very democratic in his approach. He invites opinions from all quarters and encourages exchange of ideas. Also, his memory, is really amazing. All the facts and figures are on his fingertips.”

“He never procrastinates or keeps things pending. He is famous for quick disposal of matters.”

“He encourages his juniors a lot. Always gives a pat if one is good at something but never a harsh word about failures.”

Thus speaker after speaker enumerated his various virtues. The world seemed to spin around her.

Here she was having a gem of a person as her husband and she never knew that! It was indeed unpardonable.

From that very moment, she is puzzled and totally perplexed as to where the fault lay.

Never in all her years of married life, did she feel that she is sharing her life with such an outstanding multi-faceted personality. No, not even once. In her opinion, he is a... well, there is no single word in her vocabulary apt enough to describe correctly her opinion of him. She can recall a number of incidents from the past to endorse her opinion of him.

On their first marriage anniversary, she prepared an elaborate dinner and waited for him in the evening, with high expectations. She was curious as to what gift he would be bringing for her that day. A silk sari? or something more valuable and special, perhaps?

To her utter disappointment and disbelief he came home at 10.30 in the night too tired to even notice the lavish dinner she prepared. A fierce verbal showdown later, next morning, revealed that he had forgotten about the marriage day completely! And to add insult to injury, he blamed her for not reminding him.

Then onwards, she always took care to remind him about their marriage day, her own as well as the children’s birthdays and other important events not too much in advance-lest he forget again-and also not too late-to allow him enough time to purchase a decent ‘surprise’ gift. How could he be allowed to escape under the pretext of his own forgetfulness.

Yet, they said yesterday that his memory is, well, amazing!

Some time back, her only brother’s marriage took place. Being the only sister, she was thrilled. But he bungled everything up. Even though they were informed a month in advance, he could not make up his mind about the journey till the last minute. By that time, they could not get the train reservations and had to go by air. She could not make all the purchases she wanted and had to resort to some limited hectic last minute shopping, much to her dismay. And he was annoyed that she was in a bad mood throughout the function, that too after he was forced to part with a neat sum on flight tickets for the whole family!

And, they called him a meticulous planner!

Suddenly she remembered one more incident. Their son, Raju is a bright boy. He got selected in two of the city’s top engineering colleges and had to choose between them. Agreed, it was a very difficult choice to make. And as usual, her husband could not decide in time. Good that Raju went ahead and paid the fees in one of them without waiting for his decision. Otherwise because of his vacillation, the poor boy could have lost both the seats!

Being wiser, their second son, when the time came, joined the college of his choice without even bothering to consult him.

That is how they manage their affairs. Poor souls! They are so terrified of him that they won’t open their mouths in his presence. They both are of the firm opinion that there is no use in trying to discuss things with him. He is too rigid and obstinate to consider their points of view. Of course, she also silently endorses the same view. The strategy of not taking him into confidence works wonders: it works to their advantage.

But, they marvelled at his problem solving and quick decision making capacity!

How come so many people were praising him to the skies! Really amazing that those people find him soft spoken and pleasant! She always finds him the opposite. Not that he dares to shout at her or anything like that. Never. But he clams up in the middle of an argument and no force on earth could force a further word out of him. Thus denying her of her right to justify her point of view.

How can you argue with a person who stonewalls the moment you open your mouth!

And they found him democratic and encouraging exchange of ideas!

She sighed. Who can understand her plight! Whenever she desires to buy something for herself, he vetoes down. Not only that, on many occasions when she still wanted to go ahead with her plans inspite of his objections, she found to her surprise that he keeps very little amount in their joint account. What a disgustingly suspicious attitude!

Still, people praised him as if he is perfection personified! How strange!

The doorbell rang. It is Meena, the friendly neighbourhood lady. One quick look at Santhi's face and she immediately knew that something was amiss.

“What is it, dear? Why are you so sad? Worried about Madhav’s retirement?” She tried to joke.

Santhi shook her head and described the function of the day before.

Now it is the turn of Meena to get puzzled. “When people are praising your husband, why are you so unhappy? You should feel elated.”

“No, no, not unhappy. But I feel troubled. How is it that I missed all those virtues of my husband! As a wife, I should know my husband better than the others. Shouldn’t I? That is a very disturbing thought” She was almost in tears.

“Oh, poor soul! Don’t get so dejected and spoil your mood.”

She was still pondering. “How could I fail to recognise his praise-worthy qualities! If he is really such a gem of a man as they made him out to be, it means that I could not evaluate him properly. What went wrong?”

Just then, Madhav entered the house. He was surprised at the sight of the two ladies with woebegone and long faces. He looked at Meena questioningly.

“It seems, after hearing the praises showered on you yesterday, Santhi feels sorry for not realising your true worth before.” She briefed him about his wife’s predicament.

“Yes, dear” said Santhi, “I wonder at my ignorance which closed my eyes to your greatness. I never imagined that a day would come in my life when I had to be enlightened by outsiders about my husband’s virtues. Pray, tell me, how are they able to recognise the other side in you while I was unable to? How could you hide it from me?” She said in a worried tone.

He could not bear to see her sad face. Eager to put a stop to her obvious misery, he said gently “Look dear! No other side or nothing of that sort. Don’t take seriously what all those fellows said. Believe me! They say the same things at almost every farewell function. There is not a grain of truth in their parrot like recitations.”

Having found some solace in his words, she looked relieved and tried to smile. But she was still doubtful. “Are you sure? After listening to all that blah-blah yesterday, I was really confused. Do you really say that I need not worry at all?” she insisted.

He was about to nod his head vigorously in the affirmative. But one look at Meena suppressing her laughter with the end of her sari, was enough for him to realise the irony of the situation. His face turned beetroot red and he vanished into the bedroom in a jiffy.