Subhash looked at the slightly elderly man in front of him. Dressed in the garbs of a sadhu, he presented a picture of a serene, compassionate and wise person. He remembered the words of his friend, Giri. 'He is capable of finding out what is wrong with you and will offer you a sensible solution for all your problems. No miracle cures or elaborate rituals. Just like some psychological counselling.'
He sighed. What's the harm in trying? The Man looked at him and asked gently, "Tell me, son, what's ailing you?"
Immediately he felt like opening up to him. Clearing his throat, he started. "Suddenly it seems the world around me is changed drastically. I feel my life is slowly degenerating. I don't know whether something is wrong with me or with the others. Nobody cares for me nor understands me. I feel terribly sick all the time but the numerous doctors I consulted, find nothing wrong with me. Even my family members are vexed with me and accuse me for being unreasonably fussy."
His voice choked and he could not speak further. The Man looked at him sympathetically. He kept quiet for a while and then asked him, "Don't mind my asking, you must be around fifty years, right?"
He was surprised at the unexpected query. Nevertheless replied, "I completed fifty a few months back."
He nodded his head. Then he said, "I think I can tell you what is troubling you. It is your age."
Subhash looked at him disappointed. "You too?" In a quivering tone he said, "Everybody blames my age for my every problem in a dismissive tone. It hurts. It hurts a lot indeed. Youngsters and teenagers, including my own children resent talking to me and do not take any interest in whatever I say." He was almost in tears.
The Man looked at him kindly. "All that and many other things prove the fact that you have entered your Fifties. Don't think I cannot understand your feelings. I can elaborate your experiences and the disgusting situations better than you which drive you to depression and frustration."
The Man looked at him enquiringly. Subhash nodded. He continued.
"You are at a loss to understand what is happening around you. Suddenly it seems that your world has changed. Drastically at that ! No longer can you hear the music of the Spring, nor can you enjoy the picturesque things around, nor feel like 'jumping with joy' or 'dancing with the daffodils'. You find a high degree of gloom, moroseness and melancholy all around. Slowly you start feeling that you are too young to be called old but at the same time too old to be called young ! Strange - isn't it ? And very frustrating too, if you ask me. All these and many more things prove the same fact -that you are entering your Fifties !
"You said you start feeling that slowly your life is degenerating. Mark my words, fifties are the most frustrating years of your life.
"You suddenly realise that of late, people started addressing you as ‘Sir’ in respectful tones! Youngsters, especially your junior colleagues keep a polite distance from you. They start uncleing you, deriving some perverse pleasure, or you think so. And you suddenly realise that the world is filled with only youngsters ! There are awkward pauses in your conversations with them, predominant reluctance on their part to listen to you and answer your good-natured questions etc. They hint subtly and sometimes quite directly that it is none of your concern and you realise it is time to mind your own business. But sadly you do not find what else is your business.
"Next, you come to know that you no longer are able to share the world of umpteen number of teenagers around even. The music they listen, the movies they enjoy, the books they prefer, their vocabulary, their choice of words, their erratic habits - in short, everything they do seems to be out of this world. Or you, yourself feel like being out of their world, completely ! Still, the world seems to be filled with arrogant young brats - most undisciplined and wayward. You feel like speaking about 'good olden days' but restrain yourself from doing so.
"When you go shopping for clothes, you find, much to your disgust, the salesman is no longer enthusiastic. He yawns a little, groans a little and pulls out a handful and waits impatiently for you to choose quick. Your particular choice is no longer appreciated by him! Not at all! And you, who got a reputation for tasteful selection, will be told, “That suits college students better, Sir.” Then it is time for you to realise that you should be very choosy, like never before. You cannot buy and wear any dress unhesitatingly and be acclaimed as the best-dressed person around any more! In addition, the most frequently heard comment, though ruthless, is, “You are becoming more and more fussy with age.”
"After being enlightened about your age, next comes the most bitter part ! This is the time when you slowly start to gain a little weight. But people around you will take it for granted. When you give your pants for alterations, your trusted tailor suppresses a smile. Or he appears to be doing so. Believing in the age old dictum about a stitch in time saving nine, you try to get rid of the unwanted and unbecoming flesh. But all your attempts to seek advice and tips towards that goal are pooh-poohed. The most common reaction of people will be, “Oh, don't bother, it suits your age”.
Your better half, whom you made fun of all these years for her disproportionate body and dishevelled appearance will now have her revenge. She starts making fun of your slight paunch, receding hairline etc. Not only does she lead you to the weighing machine quite frequently, but she also starts hooh-haahing about your gain of even a single milligram! She starts advising you to try low-calorie, fat-free and healthy cooking and avoid oily fast food. She slowly tries to push you to take up daily morning walks and jogs. Then she starts counting your white hairs although it is your firm opinion that there are not many! She starts shopping for hair dyes too!
"The oldies suddenly start showing much interest in your company and try to drag you into their gossip sessions much against your resistance. And you realise to your surprise that you really enjoy all that, like never before ! Those who were preaching to you till now about the 'good old days’, start seeking your endorsement about the moral deterioration of society, lack of discipline around, poor quality of contemporary education, movies, music etc. And, you realise that you really agree with all that, like never before! Then they start suggesting some really good matches for your college going daughter!
"All this makes you sick and to some extent ill. Your body becomes weak and every organ seems to be out of order. Your wife starts seeking your teenage son's or sometimes daughter's help to move furniture and other things around the house. But when you go to your doctor, he does not show any interest or concern. “Very common at your age”, he simply smiles sympathetically. But you strongly believe your case is different and beyond his diagnostic capability and go on changing doctors. But much to your surprise, you will not find even a single efficient doctor !
"All this and many other things prove the same fact. That you have already entered the Frustrating Fifties." He stopped to catch his breath.
Subhash listened to his emotional tirade with a bated breath. "How accurately you described my condition! As if you can visualise everything!" The Man just shrugged his shoulders. Instinctively Subhash folded his hands and asked, "What should I do to cope with it? How can I find peace of mind?"
The Man smiled wryly. "You have to just accept the fact, son. And realise that it is a natural phenomenon which you cannot escape. Try to enjoy your life in the changed scenario." He paused for a second and declared sombrely, "Or renounce everything like I did some twenty years back."
Subhash was rendered speechless!
