IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO

"Aunty, my childhood friend, Chaya will be coming over in the afternoon." Rachana told Padma, her mother in law excitedly. It is obvious that she is very excited to meet her friend.

"Very good, Rachana. I heard so much about her from you, I am really eager to meet her in person." Padma said.

"We studied together in school and college. She is very helpful. All our gang used to confide in her whenever we had any problem and she used to offer very useful and practical solutions and advices. She is our 'Agony Aunty.' After my marriage, we slowly drifted away and lost contact. Now that Vikram is posted here, we have a chance to renew our friendship. She and her husband live here since their marriage four years back, you know."

Padma nodded.

When Chaya came, Padma welcomed her fondly. She just frowned and muttered a feeble namasthe. Padma could sense a sort of hostility in her attitude. She just shrugged it off. After a little pleasantries and polite enquiries, she went to her room.

Chaya sighed in relief. "Thank god. Your old lady left us alone. Mine would never have the good sense to leave me alone with my friends. Always hovers around butting in and poking her nose. How could you train her so well?" She asked curiously.

Rachana was surprised. She just stared at her. Did she train her mother in law, really? There was never any conscious effort on her part vis a vis her mother in law. Come to think of it, she always kept her distance, neither totally ignoring nor overly irritating her guests.

"Come, let's go to my bedroom." She led the way.

Chaya frowned. "Why? Does she monopolise your living room, like mine?"

Rachana looked at her sharply. "That is not the point. I don't like her to be confined to her room whenever I have guests. This way she can just sit in the living room or the adjoining balcony or watch some TV..."

Chaya shook her head. "But why should 'you' hide in your room? It is your house, after all. You should be more assertive and lay down the rules strictly." Then she added. "Of course. This would be better. To move away from eavesdroppers and intruders." She laughed loudly following her.

Rachana did not want to argue further and changed the topic.

But Chaya was bitter throughout her stay, especially about her mother in law. "She is a big nuisance for me, Rachana. She always wants me to stay with her and listen to her stories about her past glory and greatness. Tries to interfere in my routine and lectures me on how to run the house. She always tries to boss over me in the kitchen too! 'Don't cook like that', or 'Cook like this', or 'I don't make this dish in this way' or 'Arrange the tins and things like this'...oh, god!"

"But why do you resent so much? She maybe just keen to help you and make your tasks easier. Instead of grudging why don't you listen to her and consider her suggestions? They may prove to be useful to you." Rachana tried to reason with her.

"Oh my god! No way! All her views are outdated and old fashioned. I am fed up with her. But as Gopal is her only son, I have to bear with her. She expects me to tell her everything, if I get any phone call or if we go out anywhere, practically everything that happens in my life. It is so suffocating really. I will turn mad some day, I am afraid."

Rachana patted her hand sympathetically. "Don't become so depressed, Chaya. Give some allowance to her age. After all, she is the mother of your husband. She must be feeling lonely and neglected. Why don't you pay some attention to her and spend some time with her? Be patient and understanding, and she will be happy."

Chaya shook her head. "It is not that easy. I can't tolerate her incessant blabber. I find it peaceful if I avoid her altogether." She shuddered. "Why can't she just sit in a corner praying or chanting?"

Rachana found her attitude somewhat cruel but did not say anything. She felt thankful that her mother in law is not such a nuisance for her.

From the next room, Padma was able to hear most of her talk. She sighed. Some mother in laws really do not realise their limits. She is happy that she is able to establish cordial relations with Rachana.

At teatime, Padma was in the kitchen, about to make tea and snacks for all. Rachana came hurriedly and stopped her. "No need to make anything, aunty. I brought some light snacks in the morning. That will do." She started setting the plates. "And then, I will make the tea too. You just relax."

Padma smiled and left.

Chaya whispered to her "Why did you stop her? Let her do, why not?"

Rachana hushed her. Padma heard but did not react.

After Chaya left, Rachana said, "I am really surprised, aunty. How she has changed! She used to be so lively and friendly. But now, so much bitterness and nasty comments! Her mother in law must be really a pain in the neck. I wonder whatever happened to my chirpy friend!"

Padma nodded in sympathy. "Circumstances and experiences change the people's attitudes and behaviours, Rachana. Don't worry too much. Just wish and pray she will be able to cope up with the situation prudently."

After a week, one evening Vikram on his return from office, told them, "Guess whom I met today! I happened to run into Naani, mummy. He is very excited. Tomorrow he promised to drop Sumathi aunty here in the afternoon."

Padma was elated. Sumathi is her cousin and Naani her son.

"Long time I met my cousin, Sumathi. She came to your marriage. After your father in law passed away, I too shifted to Delhi with you people and somehow I did not come this side again. Not even for Naani's marriage, which was almost immediately." She sighed. "She is of my age and we were more friends than cousins. In fact she is a friend of all. She is the leader of our group, so bubbly and lively. What a fun we used to have in our childhood days!"  She smiled in nostalgia. "You will surely enjoy her company. She can mix well with anyone of any age."

But she was in for a big surprise when Sumathi arrived.

To Padma's affectionate enquiry about her welfare, she grimaced. "What shall I say? I am a prisoner in my own house. My daughter in law never likes me and is very hostile towards me."

Then she wiped her eyes and stood up, "Come, let's go to your room."

After settling down, she said, "My daughter in law never likes me to sit in the living room whenever I have guests, which of course is very rare. And when her friends come also, she insists on my going inside my room. Why should I? It is originally my husband's and now my son's house and I got every right to remain wherever I want to. Don't I? Anyway, thank god, I am having a room for myself. Otherwise..." She shuddered.

"There is nobody for me to talk to. In the neighbourhood also, women of my age hesitate to come. She does not like me to talk to her friends. And she does not talk to me at all. I am really forgetting how to talk, Padma. If I sit with Naani for even five minutes to chit chat, she resents." She sounded  bitter.

Rachana brought tea for all and sat with her for a while.

Sumathi's face lit up. "So nice of you, dear. My daughter in law never offers anything to my guests and neither like me nor allows me to make anything on my own. She never even bothers to say at least a polite hello to them!"

After finishing tea, she resumed. "She does not know how to do things around the house. If I try to help her or give her any suggestions, she flares up. Are we not more experienced with our years to guide them? She never accepts my advices. In fact she does just the opposite."

Padma tried to pacify her saying, "In that case, just leave her alone, Sumathi. Why do you interfere at all? Let her run the house as she wishes."

Sumathi looked at her sharply. "Why should I? It is my house too as well. Why should I tolerate inefficiency silently? Don't I have the right and responsibility to set things straight around it?"

"Why do you react like that? Just ignore everything and try to divert your mind to something else, like reading good books, or visiting any temple or meditating..."

She looked at her angrily. "Now you are also talking just like her. Do you also take me for an old woman, worthless to interact with my son and family? Should I live like a recluse in my own house, dumped in a corner like a discarded baggage?" She continued in the same vein until Naani came to pick her up in the evening.

"Next time come with your wife, Naani. I didn't meet her till now." Padma invited whole heartedly.

Naani smiled.

Rachana added. "I was about to say the same thing. All of you come over to our house on Sunday for lunch. We also can meet your wife too."

Padma gave her an appreciative look. "Good idea, Naani, I am eager to meet her"

Naani scratched his head shyly. "Aunty, I am a grown up man now. Why don't you call me Gopal instead of Naani, at least in front of your daughter in law and my wife?"

Rachana startled. "Gopal?" She repeated.

He looked at her. "Yes, that is my real name. Aunty might not even remember it now! Of course I love to be called Naani, makes me feel like a pampered child again. But whenever someone calls me that, Chaya ridicules and makes fun of me."

"Chaya?" This time two voices cried in unison with surprise!

"Yes, Chaya, my wife."

Sumathi wrinkled her nose as Gopal replied.

After they left, Padma and Rachana remained quiet for a while. It took some time for them to recover their wits.

Rachana broke the silence and said, "So, Sumathi aunty is Chaya's mother in law."

Padma nodded and said. "And Chaya is Sumathi's daughter in law."

"How does this happen, aunty? You say Sumathi aunty is very affectionate and friendly with all. I know Chaya is sensible and pleasing. These two, who can spread happiness all around them with their compassionate and understanding nature... why do they fail to create a blissful home? While living together, why and how could they become so bitter and nasty?"

"Probably due to their relationship, Rachana. Some relationships tend to be like that.. mother in law-daughter in law, employer-employee, landlord-tenant.. All due to prejudices and egos which make people unreasonable and incompatible."

"But we should do something, aunty. Since we both know them both intimately, can we not set things right between them? Of course, when I tried to pacify Chaya a little, she reacted very sharply, and I left it there. But is it not expected of us?" She said thoughtfully.

Padma's face brightened. "Good idea. Why not? We should try hard to drive some good sense into their minds. I too tried to reason with Sumathi but she did not care much. So it maybe difficult but may not be impossible, if we try harder. Otherwise, what is the use of our friendships and relationships?"

Rachana nodded in agreement and added. "Also, we should prove that age old notion wrong, aunty, at least in our case."

Padma smiled and drew her close.