HER DECISION

Vanaja unlocked and opened the door saying, "Come in, aunty"

Six year old Puja left her mother's hand and ran inside ahead of them. Bhavani entered the house following Vanaja with a smile on her face. Vanaja showed her a chair and excusing herself, went after Puja.

Bhavani sat and looked around. It was a small apartment and the drawing room is neat and tidy, without unnecessary decorations and sprucing up. There was a garlanded photo in the showcase, of a handsome young man, must be Vanaja's husband. She sighed. She felt at home and pleasant in the simple home.

'My decision is not wrong. This woman will prove to be a perfect match for my Raghu.' She thought with satisfaction. But will she agree? Not easily, she knows. 'Poor Raghu!' Her heart felt heavy. 'If only he settles down with a soft and simple girl like Vanaja!'

"What are you thinking about, aunty?" Vanaja asked cheerfully, offering her coffee. "How is my humble house?"

Bhavani smiled and looked at her. "I have a small request, Vanaja. But I am not sure how you will take it." She paused. "What is Puja doing?" She enquied.

Immediately Vanaja stiffened. She could half guess what is coming up. "She is playing with her friends outside."

"Whatever is your decision, I will not mind. But listen patiently to what I say." Bhavani started.

"Raghu is my only son. We are having our own business which is doing well. When his father was alive, he strived hard to develop it. Ever since his death ten years back, Raghu took charge of it and proved his mettle."

'So, it is heading the way I guessed.' Thought Vanaja. She was not new to such proposals.

"For a long time, I was asking him to marry and settle down. But he is totally against the idea. I tried to convince him but he vehemently opposed. To my probing questions, he replied, there is no lover or no failure in love. He doesn't want to marry. That's all!"

Bhavani wiped her eyes. "You can imagine my worry." She took her hand in hers. "I know you since more than six months. I am very much impressed with your polite nature, manners, behaviour, everything. I feel you are suitable to be my daughter in law. I told him about you and he is a little favourable. Don't worry about Puja, we will accept her with open hands."

Vanaja shook her head and said, "But, aunty..."

Bhavani stopped her. "Don't say no outright. Listen fully to what I have to say. Take your own time. And let me know your decision."

She gave her with a puzzled look. "But any man will have certain expectations from his future wife and I told you..."

"Yes, I remember very well what you told me. And you will not have any problem.."

Bhavani has been watching that good looking, simple and traditional woman, obviously a widow, in the park for quite some days. She, like herself, comes daily with a six year old girl. Slowly they got acquainted. She learnt that her name is Vanaja and she lost her husband a couple of years back. She is a lecturer in a nearby college and the girl, Puja is her only daughter. Bhavani was impressed by her simplicity and plain nature. Though often an idea started taking shape in her mind, she suppressed it, knowing that it is unfair to entertain such ideas.

Over a time, they became close. Very often she noticed Puja stare longingly at other kids in the park having a jolly time with their fathers. Vanaja also was aware of it and tried her best to divert her daughter.

Two days before, on such an occasion, she very casually enquired about her plans for her and Puja's future.

"I have no choice, aunty. I have my job and a few of my husband's savings. I will strive to educate her well and give her as good a future as I can."

"But didn't you observe, she is longing for a father in her life? Did you ever think of marrying again, so that she will get a father and you will have someone to share your responsibility?"

Vanaja kept quiet for a while. Then she replied, "I know, Puja is missing her father. But how can I be sure that I will get a broad minded person who can accept her wholeheartedly? I heard so many stories of wrong choices by widowed mothers and the repercussions. No, aunty, I don't think it will be a good idea in the interest of Puja too. I don't want to invite any problems when everything is going on satisfactorily. Status quo is best, I think."

"I can understand. But now times are changing. You may be lucky to get a good man. You should not deprive her of a brighter future with your unfounded apprehensions, should you?" Bhavani tried to reason with her. Vanaja nodded her head but did not reply.

"Then what about you?"

Vanaja looked at her sharply. "What is there about me?"

Bhavani was taken aback. Then she recovered and said softly. "You are young. Don't you think you deserve some happiness for you? As Puja grows up, she will drift a little away from you. What will you do then? Don't you need someone to share your life with?"

Vanaja shook her head. "I never felt so till now, aunty."

Bhavani cleared her throat. "What about..."

Vanaja did not let her finish. Avoiding her eyes, she said in a low tone, "I know what you will say next. Either emotionally or physically I never felt the need for any man in my life after Mahesh passed away. In fact, I detest even the idea of any man touching me at all! The very thought itself is unbearable for me." She shuddered. "I will remain faithful to Mahesh and his memories are enough for me." She said in a firm tone and wiped her eyes.

In a way Bhavani felt elated as her words revived her original idea.

She approached Raghu that night with her proposal. As usual he was adamant and reiterated his decision to remain single for ever. But she persisted and described at length about Vanaja's good nature and her firm opinions. Finally he relented a little. "First you tell her everything about me. If she is still willing, then I want to meet her and have a free and detailed talk personally before deciding." He said firmly.

"But remember one thing, Raghu. Her daughter is tender and innocent. You should accept her wholeheartedly. So think carefully. If you are not absolutely sure about yourself, there is no point in disturbing the poor lady." She warned.

Raghu nodded. After thinking over well, finally he consented and told her that morning to go ahead.

'At least one success.' She thought with satisfaction. Next task will be convincing Vanaja. But she did not want to take undue advantage of her. She wanted to clarify fully before pursuing the matter with her.

Bhavani came out of the past and looked at her. Now is the time to reveal the actual facts.

"Look, Vanaja, listen carefully to what I say. Don't think I am taking advantage of you. I must tell you Raghu was a little wayward in his college days enjoying with parties, friends and girlfriends. He was always a care free boy. Though he was good at studies, he was playful. I will not hide from you, he had a few very close girlfriends too. We both were worried a lot about his waywardness. But ten years back he had a ghastly accident and was in hospital for two months. After that he changed a lot. Around the same time his father passed away and he had to take over our company. He became serious, avoided all his friends and stopped all his other activities. First I thought it was a result of his father's sudden death and felt happy that at last he matured and became responsible."

She wiped her eyes. "But actually he became a recluse. He expressed his disinterest in marriage. I was clueless why he is not at all willing to marry. After dilly dallying for a couple of years, finally he confessed in me." She paused and took a deep breath.

"That accident left him a man only in name and appearance. He is unfit for normal married life."

Vanaja startled. "What? Is it true?"

Bhavani nodded. "He got very serious injuries. After treatment he became normal otherwise. He is healthy and normal looking and needs no help or support. Only this one loss is permanent. That's why he is not willing to marry and spoil the life of an innocent." She looked at her with tearful eyes. "That is the story, Vanaja. Now you think over. He wanted me to tell you everything without hiding. You are mature and sensible. There is no hurry." She held her hand. "Whatever you decide, I will not get offended. Let us continue as friends."

Vanaja nodded and mumbled "Give me some time."

She could not sleep that night. Tossing in her bed restlessly, she tried to make up her mind. Though she does not want to admit, she is feeling lonely in recent times. And at times she feels she is not capable of handling the burden of being a single parent. At such moments, she is scared about future too. But she is apprehensive of her decision proving wrong. What is the guarantee that this man will be sincere and ever supportive? Will he accept and welcome Puja wholeheartedly? That is the major issue to be considered carefully. Of course the old lady is decent and appears to be trustworthy but what about the man himself? And about his condition,.. will it be a problem and create rifts in future? She shook her head. Better to meet him a few times and try to assess him. There is no other way. Only if she is fully convinced, then only she will consent.

Raghu is restless. He will be meeting the woman in a short while. She did not give her approval yet but wanted to meet him and know him better before deciding. 'Am I doing the right thing? Should I or should I not agree? Is it wise for me to accept mother's proposal? She says the girl is not in favour of any physical intimacy. But that is for the present. Suppose at some future point, if she feels the need and gets frustrated with my inability, then?' He shrugged. 'Let her come. I will discuss with her all the pros and cons. Whatever has to happen will happen.'

Vanaja entered hesitatingly. He turned around to face her.

"You!" She shrieked.

"You!" He exclaimed.

Bhavani is taken aback. How do they know each other? She wondered. Vanaja turned to go. Bhavani stopped her. "How do you know Raghu? Why are you going?"  She asked in an anxious tone.

Vanaja looked at her sharply. "I know him as Ram. He may not remember me but I met him long back, before my marriage, at a friend's place. He is really a womaniser, as you told. He made friends with me though I did not encourage him much. Then he tried to lure and seduce me and enjoy but I refused to yield." Her tone was full of disgust. "Excuse me, aunty, for my saying so. It seems he got what he deserved. I don't want to share my life with a rogue, whatever shape he is in now!"

Raghuram hurried towards her. "Wait, Vanaja. I never forgot you. In fact I thought about you many times. Please listen to me. I am a changed person now. I am no longer such a rogue." Bhavani nodded in agreement.

"Those days I was a spoilt and wayward boy, I agree. Quite a number of girls used to surround and fall all over me ever ready to please me. I gave in to the temptation. You were the only girl I got really attracted in the true sense. But you refused me...me, the prized trophy of our circle. I got very much annoyed and insulted. For a second I thought of teaching you a lesson or taking revenge."

Vanaja winced. In fact after that incident, she was scared of the prospect of his attacking her in vengeance and for one week she did not venture outside her house.

"But I admonished myself for such cruel thoughts. Believe me, I am not such a vicious person. Never in my life did I force any girl. And I never ran after married women either. I enjoyed with only those who came to me willingly. I used to consider it all as heroism! That day after you gave me a good verbal thrashing, I got into my car and began driving aimlessly, unable to digest your rejection. I was thinking of you and your words. I did not even realise how and when I met with that accident. I opened my eyes in the hospital. Your refusal changed my outlook and during my hospital stay, I resolved to change my ways and win your heart some day. I gave a serious thought to marriage for the first time in my life, not at all aware of what is in store for me in my fate... Mother must have told you all about that. Believe my words, I am not a rogue. But yes, I do not deserve you and you are right in refusing me. Now that I had a chance of opening my heart to you, I feel very light. Thank you for listening patiently." Tears rolled down his eyes.

Vanaja looked at him. His tone and eyes were sincere and there is no doubt that whatever he spoke, was from the depth of his heart. Bhavani, now surprised at the turn of events and new revelations, remained speechless. Only her eyes were pleading.

After a brief period of silence, during which Vanaja thought about all that she heard just now, she came to a decision. She developed a sense of trust in this man. She went to him slowly and wiped his eyes.